Grief is a “normal” and necessary reaction to a significant change or loss in our lives. Over the past few years, there has been a movement to normalize the grieving process. For example, Angie Cartwright founded National Grief Awareness Day in 2014 to raise awareness of the many ways individuals cope with loss. Even Netflix, the streaming platform, has a show that presents the complexities of grief from the perspective of a teenager who has lost a parent.

Never Have I Ever follows Devi Vishwakumar, an overachieving high school sophomore, as she attempts to cope with the recent and tragic death of her father. While the show mainly focuses on Devi’s attempt to gain popularity at her high school, we want to focus on its thoughtful exploration of grief.

Throughout the first season, we see Devi go through denial, anger, and depression. She is reluctant to accept the reality of her loss, which is the first task of mourning. Therefore, she is unable to truly experience the pain from her grief. This causes many issues in her life. Unable to control her emotional outbursts, she lashes out at her mother, cousin, and friends. This leads her to isolate herself from others. The truth is, Devi portrays the reality of grief; it’s complicated, messy, and discouraging. It doesn’t matter how old you are, grief affects everyone.

At the end of the first season, Devi is finally able to accept her father’s passing. After this, she can fully experience her grief and can begin healing. This will allow her to readjust in the environment where her father is missing.

You can truly see a change in Devi throughout the show. In the beginning, she was only able remember the night of her father’s tragic death. As more time passes, Devi starts to have more good days than bad. In fact, she is able to recall the good memories she has of her father and look back on them with fondness rather than sadness.

One of my favorite quotes from the show is “grief is an expression of love”. I thought this was a beautiful reminder that we don’t need to let go of our loved ones who have passed away. We will always carry the love we have for them with us. According to What’s Your Grief, “grief is love’s unwillingness to give up”. In addition, grief stretches the bonds and redefines limits in order to create a space where iyou can love someone in their eternal absence. Click here to read the article from What’s Your Grief that discusses love and grief.

Never Have I Ever was created by Mindy Kaling, who based the show off her own experience with loss. Kaling’s mother passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2012. She wanted to create a show for those experiencing grief and help them understand that they weren’t alone. It is inspiring how Kaling is able to channel her grief into helping others work through theirs.

Devi doesn’t handle her grief alone. She has the support of her therapist, friends, and family. If you are in need of extra support, please join us for our monthly grief support groups. Our In-Person or Virtual Support Groups offer a comfortable and supportive environment, where you’ll find a warm fellowship of people with similar grief experiences. If you have any questions about the support groups, comment below and we will be happy to answer them!

Written by: Paige Muttillo | Marketing Manager | Catholic Cemeteries Association