In a recent conversation, I shared my thoughts on living life not concerned with the material and more on the immaterial, and the word is acceptance. How many of us get wrapped up in the material, and the things that do not matter? We find ourselves annoyed or envious of our neighbors, angry at the slightest insult, and our actions can lead to dire consequences. Emotions are especially elevated when a loved one’s death is the foundation of the perceived offense.

The death of someone close to us, is one the greatest emotional traumas that a person will face in their life. We struggle when death claims the life of someone we love, and it is the reality of their absence that brings about a flurry of emotions. Tears and laughter seem to come within moments of each other, and only death makes this rollercoaster ride make sense. When we love so intensely, our memories allow us to remember times of joy and then the loss becomes that much more intense. Time does not heal the wound, but it does make the pain more bearable. Most importantly, if we allow God to participate in our grief, acceptance is the next phase of our journey.

Death, regardless of the circumstances, can bring intense anger or severe depression, but acceptance of death as simply the beginning of something new frees us from the intensity of such emotions. I am not suggesting there will not be anger or depression but bearing it becomes easier when God is at the center of our journey. Unfortunately, this also means that we must accept the death of our loved one and celebrate the time we had with them.

I am amazed at the anger I have experienced over the years where death is at the center of the conversation. When did we as a people become so intolerant of so many trivial things. A minor infraction and we devolve into behavior that goes against everything we believe in as followers of Christ. How often do we forget that each of us is an imperfect person and yet we judge as if we are perfect. When I need guidance, I reflect on the insults and torture that Jesus was subjected to throughout His ministry, and how our Savior in His final moment asked the Father to forgive. Christ did not turn away from us, despite everything He endured. We put Him on a cross and as the pain of a horrific death gripped our Savior, His only concern was for us.

Acceptance does not mean a life without grief, without earthly trials and tribulation, it is however the best way I know to live a life with hope at the center. The knowledge that this life is simply our journey toward God, and life with Jesus, frees us of the despair that comes when we have no hope of paradise. Do not let anger become the place where your grief is expressed. Allow yourself to remember how our Savior died and how His love spread across the world from a place, a time and a death that was intended to end His ministry before it even started. We must not allow anger to distract us, or even prevent us, from being in paradise when that final moment arrives for us.

I accept that each death is a devastating experience for those who are left to pick up the pieces, and I accept that when Christ and the Father are included in the experience, we find peace. I accept that a cross intended to end life has instead become the symbol of everlasting life.
God Bless.

Andrej N. Lah

Director of Cemeteries