The other day, I was scrolling through movies, and I stumbled upon The Last Song. It has been years since I had even thought about this film, but upon being reminded of it, I realized how much we could learn from this story, in terms of grief.

The Last Song is a teen drama film developed alongside Nicholas Sparks’ novel of the same name. It follows 17-year-old Veronica “Ronnie” Miller as she and her younger brother, Jonah, spend the summer with their dad, after their parents’ divorce.

Angry with her parents’ divorce and her dad’s absence in her life, Ronnie is closed off. As the summer unfolds, she reconnects with family and her roots, and even finds romance with a local boy named Will. Eventually, she discovers her dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and throughout her journey, Ronnie learns lessons about the importance of time, forgiveness, personal growth, and lasting love.

Grief is portrayed in three major storylines:

• The emotional pain that Ronnie and Jonah feel before the loss of their dad
• The loss of Ronnie and Jonah’s dad
• The loss of Will’s brother.

Anticipatory Grief

When we grieve, it isn’t always after a loved one has passed. Grief can begin long before a loss occurs, and this is known as anticipatory grief. It refers to the emotional pain and processing that occurs before a loss. In The Last Song, we see this unfold after Ronnie and her brother find out their dad is terminally ill with cancer.

Anticipatory grief can bring a series of emotions, including fear, anger, sadness, and more. After Ronnie finds out about the news of her dad, she faces deep regret as she wasted time with her dad by pushing him away. As the realization set in, she not only grieves the impending loss but also the time precious time she will never get back.

While Ronnie was much more closed off with her emotions throughout the film, Jonah was much more emotionally open. With Jonah’s response to the situation, the stages of grief are much more visible. At first, he is confused and does not fully understand the situation. He does not know how to cope, so as he processes the news of his dad’s illness, he lashes out, breaks down, grows quieter, and clings tighter to his dad.

The Last Song shows us the importance of seeking support from those around us in times of loss. Whether it is processing through emotions together or cherishing every moment you have left with the individual.

Grief After Death

A major plot point of the film was with Ronnie and her dad’s bond through music. Her dad was a concert pianist, and Ronnie spent her entire childhood playing piano. Throughout Ronnie’s rebellious stage, she abandoned playing out of anger toward her dad.

As Ronnie reconnected with her dad, she reclaimed her love for music. To honor him, after his passing, Ronnie finished a song the two of them were working on together.

While the grief of her dad’s death is intense, it is transformed through time and reconnection. The grief turns from pain to growth, and she honors the memory of her dad.

Silent Grief

A subplot of the film was when Will revealed to Ronnie about the death of his brother and the impact it had on him and his family. His brother had been drinking and driving, but Will was the last person to see him alive. Even though it was not Will’s fault, he carries deep guilt and internalizes his emotions. With that, his family is extremely concerned about their image in the town, so they avoid talking openly about the death of their son.

While an often-overlooked aspect of the film, there is a lot to be learned about how grief can be processed. Their family dynamic created little space for emotional vulnerability, which left each person isolated in their pain. With that, the family cared more about their appearances than healing, which took a toll on their family.

Where we see real healing is when Will finds comfort in Ronnie, and Ronnie in him. Both closed off about their feelings, but in each other, they found space to be vulnerable. Grief is never easy, but what we see is the true power in processing loss together. It is easy to build walls and avoid discussing the uncomfortable, but it is extremely draining. We see how healing can come when we break the silence and lean on others in our time of need.

Grief is not one-size-fits-all, but acknowledging that it is there is the first step. The Last Song touches on some of the many ways grief affects us, but it is about how we deal with that grief that is where we can find healing.

Written By: Jennifer Kapcio | Marketing Intern | Catholic Cemeteries Association | Catholic Cemeteries Association