In late March, I lost a mentor that had impacted my life in many ways. He was deeply rooted in his Catholic faith, always knew the right thing to say, and was consistently there for his family and friends. After months of prayer, his passing still makes me think back to the memories we experienced together. At first, I didn’t quite understand how to grieve a mentor, but through the struggling times, I leaned on my faith to persevere.

A person’s mentor can include a variety of “job responsibilities.” For some, a mentor is a professional advisor who helps them progress throughout their career. For others, a mentor is a personal guide to everyday life. For me, my mentor was everything: the man who was one call away, a guide through prayer, and a friend.

Understanding the true impact of a mentor can be difficult to wrap our heads around. For years, we are able to hear advice at an instant. All of a sudden, that wisdom is gone, and their voice now comes from heaven. When we look back at their life, it is important to remember the memories that were created together.

Immediately after the death, it is natural to be unsure how we truly feel. Grief looks different for each of us. Throughout the grieving process, it is important to center ourselves through prayer and Jesus Christ. Praying intentionally can help us to cope with the lasting impact that our mentor leaves behind. Our prayers may include hope for eternal life, compassion for the mentor’s family, and peace through God. His mercy shines through our mentor’s life, and can be inspirational for us to preserve their legacy.

Be Present

One of the most important things we can do is to be there for our mentor’s family. Being present at the wake, funeral, and cemetery burial are just a couple of ways to physically be present. Spiritually, we can be present with God in prayer. Offering our intentions can keep Christ’s compassion with us, while also helping us to heal. It is easy for us to look back with regrets, but grief involves the celebration of our mentor’s life through the lasting legacy they leave behind.

Be Loving

Love is shown/expressed in a variety of ways. Love can be expressed physically through hugs and handshakes to our mentor’s family at their funeral. We can also show love by keeping a collection of mementos that were important to our mentor. My mentor had a large collection of football memorabilia, and I have been fortunate to keep some of our play drawings we designed together. Emotionally, love can be shown by listening to our mentor’s family talk about their life. This expresses a profound impact through the grieving process because we see the influence they had on those around them.

Be Open

Through grieving times, vulnerability can be difficult to express. Especially, when we are meeting our mentor’s family for the first time. Our human nature is to internalize challenging things, and we oftentimes, don’t want to “bother/annoy/burden” people around us. Being open to sharing our feelings is one of the most important ways to grieve our mentors. Sharing highlights from their life, showcasing unique talents/skills, and telling funny stories are ways to be open to our emotions. Our heart’s way of remembering our mentor can lead us towards peace and love for one another.

Our mentors have provided us with so many opportunities for growth. Cherishing those memories, while being there for people who need us the most goes a long way. Through prayer, we are able to center ourselves in faith, while continuing to be an example of the good news our Gospel spreads.

Written By: Greg Campbell | Marketing Intern | Catholic Cemeteries Association