One night while scrolling through TikTok, I stumbled upon a video that immediately caught my attention. Though only a brief preview was available, I was so struck by the speaker’s words that I went to YouTube to watch the rest.

The video featured a young girl giving a moving eulogy about her father. While her words about her father were indeed touching, what really resonated with me was what she said about the man responsible for taking his life.

She shared her struggle with the way crime suspects were treated. Her difficulty did not stem from a belief that justice should not be served, but rather from her compassion for those who don’t know Jesus. She said, “I was always told I would feel differently if it happened to me, but as it has happened to my own father, I think I still feel the same.”

She also reveals her conflicting emotions towards the man who harmed her father. Although she feels she should despise him, she finds herself unable to hate him. Instead, she prays for him to find a connection with Jesus. Her hope is that, someday in the future, she will have the opportunity to spend time with the man who took her father’s life. However, she doesn’t wish for this meeting to be filled with anger, yelling, or scolding. Rather, she wants to tell him about Jesus.

This personal reflection led me to consider a broader perspective: the Catholic teaching on forgiveness.

In human experience, few things are as painful as losing a loved one to violent crime. Such loss can breed anger and a lifelong thirst for revenge. However, from a Catholic viewpoint, these feelings are challenges to be overcome with the healing power of forgiveness.

Catholicism, following Jesus Christ’s teachings, emphasizes forgiveness as an essential virtue of divine love. It’s not a mere suggestion, but a Christian obligation, even for those suffering from the agony of losing someone to violence.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or denying the pain. It’s about releasing the anger and resentment, a process that may take time and courage. It doesn’t condone the violence but helps in letting go of the hurt that hinders healing.

In Catholic doctrine, there is a redemptive aspect to suffering, aligning personal grief with Christ’s own suffering on the Cross. Forgiveness, even when faced with enormous loss, becomes a way to participate in Christ’s redemption.

Recognizing that forgiveness can be a difficult spiritual journey, the Catholic Church offers support through the sacraments and support from the broader faith community.

The unbearable weight of losing someone to violent crime is a painful cross to bear. Yet, from the Catholic perspective, forgiveness shines as a beacon of hope. More than personal healing, it represents a courageous step towards a world shaped by divine love. The path to forgiveness may be arduous, but it leads to peace, redemption, and a closer relationship with Christ.

Written By: Paige Muttillo | Marketing Manager | Catholic Cemeteries Association